December 2010
“Here’s the country I want to be a citizen of: the one that decides to buy...”
– ongoing by Tim Bray · No More Fear
Rafer sez: Reblogging the entire beautiful post that is my every wet dream.
(via seanbonner)
(KB: For my part, this is via Wil Wheaton)
A Picture Perfect Resolution
Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I came in a couple hours ago to pick up my pictures, and my wife says we’re 17 pictures short! This always happens when we come here! Is it really so hard to keep track of one f***ing order?”
(The customer continues to rant for several minutes, getting louder and more obscene. The phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”
Caller: “I was in there an hour and a half ago and the dumb*** in front of me left 17 pictures on the counter that I accidentally took home with my pictures. What kind of moron leaves pictures on the counter?”
(I hand the phone to the irate customer.)
Me: “It’s for you.”
A Positive Ending
(A guest comes through my line with a four pack of AA batteries and an energy drink called Assault. He is trying not to giggle during the transaction.)
Me: “Here is your receipt, have a great day!”
Customer: “Guess what?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “You just charged me for Assault and battery!” *grabs his bag and sprints out of the store*
1 tag
In Need Of A Better Outlook
Customer: “I’m having issues with my Outlook.”
Me: “Show me the problem you’re having so I can see if I can fix it for you.”
(She has six passwords each over twenty characters long, Bios password, Windows password, Zone Alarm Password, Outlook Password, etc…)
Me: “You don’t need to have your passwords that long for security’s sake.”
Customer: “I read on the internet that sniffers give up if the password is too long.”
Me: “I’m happy you did your research, but you don’t have to have it longer then 15 characters long.”
Customer: “Well I’m afraid if someone steals my laptop, the programs that can recover passwords can’t detect past twenty letters.”
Me: “That’s true, but no one really does that anymore. In this business we have customers coming in all the time to have us remove the password for them because they forgot it. For instance, I can get into your laptop in less then 2 – 3 minutes without your help.”
Customer: “No way. I’ve made precautions.”
Me: “I will be more then happy to show you that I can. But I would have to charge you a half hour fee and you would have to sign the work order giving me permission to.”
Customer: “And if you can’t? ”
Me: “Then I will be more then happy to refund you the money and you would have won this war.”
(Customer then pays the fee and signs the work order.)
Me: “Give me a moment.”
(A minute later.)
Me: “Here you go, I’m logged in to your Outlook.”
Customer: “Oh my God! How did you do that?”
Me: “If your really worried about someone stealing your laptop, you shouldn’t have laminated your passwords to the laptop.”
2 tags
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-12-19) →
植松伸夫 (15)
Aerosmith (11)
Jonathan Coulton (6)
菅野よう子 (6)
Nine Inch Nails (5)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
How Glenn Beck Understands Operation Payback →
Very funny, and terrifyingly correct, methinks (via wondertonic).
The Economy Is Crumbling
(The phone is ringing off the hook and my co-worker finally answers it.)
Co-worker: “Hello this is [store name], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Do you have that guitar game that just came out?”
(My co-worker looks to me and I confirm we only have one left.)
Co-worker: “Yes ma’am, but we only have one left.”
Customer: “If you hold that f***ing game, I swear I’ll bring you homemade f***ing cookies.”
Co-worker: “It’s f***ing held.”
(Less than half an hour later, the woman comes in to pick up her game, with a huge bag full of homemade cookies.)
(KB note: I borked the original)
Oh Hey There: Howl III →
barthel:
For Carl Steadman
I saw the best bloggers of my generation hired by print publications, abandoning their Tumblrs,
dragging themselves to an office at dawn missing their warm pajamas,
tousle-headed hipsters burning for a paycheck in the blight of recession,
who uninsured and anxiety-dreaming and hungry and hungry sat up typing in the baby-plagued halogen of coffeeshops slumping...
“… But those of us well-versed in the ancient wisdoms know that the real 12...”
– The Real 12 Stages of a Lunar Eclipse | Retort, via Ectomo.
“The update also brings with it a new speech bank editor that lets players create...”
– Worms Reloaded gets TF2-themed DLC PC News | Eurogamer.net. YES!
MINA Breaking News - Sharks Wary of Drunk Serbs →
A wonderful twist at the end, and the fact that it’s a news story just makes it more amusing.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-12-12) →
Doctor Octoroc (16)
植松伸夫 (16)
AC/DC (8)
Beastie Boys (7)
菅野よう子 (7)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
